How To Plan A Wedding Day That's Not Stressful (from the perspective of your wedding photographer)

We want to share some wisdom and advice for creating a stress-free wedding day. We’ve been photographing weddings for thirteen years and we believe this list of ideas will help you be more relaxed, present and ultimately able to enjoy your wedding.

Setting up proper boundaries will lead to a more joyful wedding day.

You are pouring time and money into making your wedding the most memorable experience AND… it can be stressful. It can be stressful to plan, but it can also be stressful on the day itself. When you put so much of yourself into something it’s hard to not demand perfection from it.

As wedding photographers, we always have the primary goal of helping our couples be as stress-free as possible on their wedding day for two reasons:

First, we want you to be able to enjoy this monumental day in your life and focus on what matters.

Second, when you’re relaxed and enjoying the day it shows in your photos and video. Stress is visible, and when you look back at your wedding ten years from now the last thing we want you to see in your photos and video is any indication of tension or frustration.

So here are some ways you can set those boundaries so you are more present for one of the biggest days of your life.

Hand Over Your Cell Phone

Studies have already proven how our cell phones add stress and anxiety to our life. There is NO reason to be monitoring your notifications on your wedding day. Hand your cell phone to somebody in the wedding party, make sure that important people know how to get an urgent message to you, and enjoy a phone-free day! There has never been an invention in human history that pulls us out of the present moment like our cell phones so we beg you to let it go for this one day in your life. It’s one of the few days where everybody understands that you’re not going to be reachable so take advantage of that rare gift!

Add In Buffer Time All Day Long

You’ve likely heard that your wedding day will fly by. Even if you are the most organized couple in the world, we promise that adding in some buffer time to your schedule will help slow the pace of the day down. When you’re thinking about how much time to plan for each section of the day add some additional time just to play it safe. The worst case scenario is that you’ll stay on schedule and have more time to relax with your favorite people.

We wrote more about timing from a photography perspective in our post: Creating Your Wedding Photography Timeline

Hire A Wedding Planner

This an investment in being able to enjoy your wedding day, and therefore the return on investment is massive. Planners range from full service designers to month-of-coordinators. Budgets can vary quite a bit depending on the level of service, but at least having somebody run your timeline and coordinate the vendor team will be a huge stress relief so that you aren’t spending your wedding day as a project manager.

Have A First Look To Get The Nerves Out

We’ve seen the power of the First Look when it comes to relaxing time and time again. Having a quiet moment together before the wedding can be an incredible way to let go of everything and be reminded of what the day is truly about. We share more of our thoughts on Why To Consider A First Look.

This isn’t for everybody and we respect any couple that wants their first look moment to be the traditional walking down the aisle moment. That’s how we did it at our own wedding, but we don’t deny the value of a First Look as a great tool for grounding each other in the present.

Relax At Least 45 Minutes Prior To The Ceremony

It’s easy to fill every single minute of a wedding day with activities from morning to night, but we’d encourage you to block at least 45 minutes prior to the wedding ceremony with absolutely NOTHING. Whether you’re doing portraits before the ceremony or not, wrap up the final activity and then get to your hiding place with the wedding party to relax. This lets the excitement of the ceremony build, and should eliminate any scares of being late to your own wedding!

Sneak Away To Have A Few Minutes Alone Right After The Ceremony

YOU DID IT! One of the most powerful moments as a couple is the experience of “That just happened!” immediately after walking up the aisle after you’ve been pronounced married. There is no requirement that says you have to immediately have to circle back to start taking portraits or be with your guests. Go take five minutes and be alone together. We promise that your guests will still there excited to party when you get back!

Attend Your Cocktail Hour

This one probably means having a First Look so that you don’t have all of your portraits after the ceremony, but if possible we recommend getting to spend some time at the cocktail hour. It’s the best time of the day to say hello to all of the people that matter. It also removes the pressure to leave your table during the reception to say hello to guests while you’re trying to enjoy dinner. Also, if you are doing portraits during cocktail hour, there’s no official rule that says all cocktail hours must be completed in 60 minutes. Mosts guests are perfectly happy to continue hanging out and drinking longer if you want to extend to 90 minutes so you can take portraits and still spend some time at cocktail hour!

Keep The Percentage Of Time Spent On Formal Portraits To A Minimum

We love to tell our couples that your wedding day is not a photo shoot or a film production, IT’S A WEDDING. Let your timeline reflect that. We understand that you want amazing portraits, and it’s our job to create those, but we also think you should spend the majority of your wedding day getting married and hanging out with the people that you love. When it comes to couple portraits, consider a First Look and also going out for a few minutes during gorgeous light at sunset. We don’t need an hour, and you’re likely not going to frame all 50-100 couple portraits we end up delivering. When it comes to family portraits, think about the portraits you would actually frame or put in an album. It might not be necessary to capture every conceivable combination of people. We know that portraits are important, but we want to keep the amount of time we spend on them as minimal as possible so the memory of your day is not one big photo shoot.

Let Go Of Perfection And Embrace The Present

This is a hard one, but the most important. You’ve poured yourself into making this day amazing, and you care about it. Start preparing yourself mentally now to let go of everything from the moment you wake up on your wedding day. If you’ve planned well, hopefully everything will go off without a hitch, but there will always things outside of your control. On the wedding day itself, move all of that obsession from the event details over to the fact that you get to spend the rest of your entire life with the most amazing person in the world. No matter what happens on the day with the weather, the catering, the timeline, or anything else… you are loved by the person that matters most and you are getting married. You are also surrounded by the people that mean the world to you and that have brought you to this moment.

That’s IT. This will be one of the most incredible experiences you will ever have in your life. Don’t let anything big or small get in the way from you being present on your wedding day. Embrace the mindset to be present over perfect.

For more ideas on planning an amazing wedding day Contact Us!